Perspective

This letter is one that I'm sure some of you have read before.  The focus is on keeping life in the proper perspective. Although life can be tough, circumstances are not always as bad as they could be.  Keep life in perspective!

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Dear Mother and Dad:
Since I left for college I have been remiss is writing and I am sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you on sitting down. Okay? Well, then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught on fire shortly after my arrival here is pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now can see almost normally and only get those sick headaches once a day.  Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory, and my jump, was witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me in the hospital and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven't got the exact date yet but I promise it will be before my pregnancy shows. Yes, Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boy friend has a minor infection that prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him.  I know that you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and, although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your often-expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by that. 

Now that I have brought you up-to-date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire. I did not have a concussion or skull fracture. I was not in the hospital and I am not pregnant. I am not engaged, I am not infected and there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I am getting a D in History and an F in Science and I want you to see those marks in their proper perspective.

Your Loving Daughter
Susie

"Hurt people, hurt people"

“Hurt people, hurt people“.  People who have been hurt will often turn around and hurt other people.   I was reminded of this phrase today when I reflected on some disappointing behaviors that I experienced within my extended family.  Sometimes when people react in ways that are hurtful, they are responding out of their own pain or experiences.   It is difficult making sense out of behaviors that simply have no rationale or justification.  Bitterness is very destructive and self-destructive. It is like a dangerous poison that can impact people physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Forgiveness is not about who was right or who was wrong.  When we forgive, we recognize the situation for what it is, get beyond it and move on to a place of contentment instead of bitterness.  Forgiveness stops us from being stuck in a downward spiral of resentment and negativity that can result in taking out our hurt and anger on others.  Forgiveness sets us free and establishes a foundation for peace regardless of the situation that we have experienced.  Below are some thoughts that helped me to re-frame my own circumstances and to put things into perspective. 

“Hurt people hurt people. We are not being judgmental by separating ourselves from such people. But we should do so with compassion. Compassion is defined as a "keen awareness of the suffering of another coupled with a desire to see it relieved." People hurt others as a result of their own inner strife and pain. Avoid the reactive response of believing they are bad; they already think so and are acting that way. They aren't bad; they are damaged and they deserve compassion. Note that compassion is an internal process, an understanding of the painful and troubled road trod by another. It is not trying to change or fix that person.”
― Will Bowen, Complaint Free Relationships: Transforming Your Life One Relationship at a Time

“Keep in mind, hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their own pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain that they have some unresolved issues inside. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome. The last thing they need is for you to make matters worse by responding angrily.”
― Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential