"Hurt people, hurt people"

“Hurt people, hurt people“.  People who have been hurt will often turn around and hurt other people.   I was reminded of this phrase today when I reflected on some disappointing behaviors that I experienced within my extended family.  Sometimes when people react in ways that are hurtful, they are responding out of their own pain or experiences.   It is difficult making sense out of behaviors that simply have no rationale or justification.  Bitterness is very destructive and self-destructive. It is like a dangerous poison that can impact people physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Forgiveness is not about who was right or who was wrong.  When we forgive, we recognize the situation for what it is, get beyond it and move on to a place of contentment instead of bitterness.  Forgiveness stops us from being stuck in a downward spiral of resentment and negativity that can result in taking out our hurt and anger on others.  Forgiveness sets us free and establishes a foundation for peace regardless of the situation that we have experienced.  Below are some thoughts that helped me to re-frame my own circumstances and to put things into perspective. 

“Hurt people hurt people. We are not being judgmental by separating ourselves from such people. But we should do so with compassion. Compassion is defined as a "keen awareness of the suffering of another coupled with a desire to see it relieved." People hurt others as a result of their own inner strife and pain. Avoid the reactive response of believing they are bad; they already think so and are acting that way. They aren't bad; they are damaged and they deserve compassion. Note that compassion is an internal process, an understanding of the painful and troubled road trod by another. It is not trying to change or fix that person.”
― Will Bowen, Complaint Free Relationships: Transforming Your Life One Relationship at a Time

“Keep in mind, hurting people often hurt other people as a result of their own pain. If somebody is rude and inconsiderate, you can almost be certain that they have some unresolved issues inside. They have some major problems, anger, resentment, or some heartache they are trying to cope with or overcome. The last thing they need is for you to make matters worse by responding angrily.”
― Joel Osteen, Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential