What's stopping you?

What’s stopping you?  This is a question that I often ask people. 
Why do you avoid doing things that you know need to be done? 
I am personally guilty of putting off household tasks like cleaning
my garage and storage room.  I have had these tasks on my list of
things to do for longer than I care to admit. 

Below are some powerful quotes about procrastination that I hope
will stimulate your thoughts.¹

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.”
  ~William James

“There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single
  way to get one back.”  ~Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister

“It is an undoubted truth, that the less one has to do, the less time
  one finds to do it in.”  ~Earl of Chesterfield

“The two rules of procrastination:  1) Do it today.  2) Tomorrow will
  be today tomorrow. “ ~Author Unknown

“One of the greatest labor-saving inventions of today is tomorrow.”
  ~Vincent T. Foss

“You may delay, but time will not.”  ~Benjamin Franklin

“To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.” ~Eva Young

“Procrastination is opportunity's assassin.”  ~Victor Kiam

“If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep
  putting off doing it.”  ~Olin Miller

“What may be done at any time will be done at no time.”  ~Scottish Proverb

“The best way to get something done is to begin.”  ~Author Unknown

“You know you are getting old when it takes too much effort to
  procrastinate.”  ~Author Unknown

“I do my work at the same time each day - the last minute.”  ~Author Unknown

“Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.”  ~Spanish Proverb

“Putting off an easy thing makes it hard.  Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.”  ~George Claude Lorimer

“Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man. “ ~Jimmy Lyons

“A year from now you may wish you had started today.”  ~Karen Lamb

“One of these days is none of these days.”  ~Henri Tubach and H.G. Bohn

      ¹Quotes taken from http://www.quotegarden.com/procrastination.html

How important is eye contact?

  

What are the possible messages that people send with their eyes?
How can your eye expressions be interpreted?

Eyes are sometimes referred to as “a window to the soul”.  Your eyes can be used to
make initial contact with someone, send a message or signal to them or to build
rapport.   The brain is wired to read the face when communicating.  Eye contact
plays a key role in how you interpret messages sent by others.  The way a person
looks at you provides a signal about what they are feeling.  Although the eyes
don’t tell all, they are very revealing.  Observing eye messages will allow you to
adjust how you interact to people and observe the subtle or direct signals that
they are sending to you.

 - Extended gaze or stare

·         Serious and intense

·         Aggressive or deceptive

·         Can be invasive or threatening

·         Shock or disbelief  after hearing unexpected news

·         Can show affection

- Intermittent, repeated glance from a distance

·         Flirtation or lust

·         Checking someone out or showing interest

- Glancing sideways

·         Distracted

·         Checking out source of a distraction

- Squinting

·         Evaluation

·         Considering whether something is not true 

·         Uncertainty

·         Covering up deception

·         Tiredness

 -Lateral movement - Eyes moving from side-to-side 

·         Shiftiness and lying

- Gazing up and down

·         Sizing someone up

·         Checking out a potential threat or love interest

·         Can be insulting

·         Indication of a position of dominance

- Avoiding eye contact

·         Lying or feeling guilty

·         Uncomfortable with the topic being discussed

·         Not interested

·         Feeling insecure

·         Insulted or threatened

·         Not focused or paying attention

- Gazing regularly without staring

·         Positive, inviting attitude 

·         Open to communicate with you

·         Showing engagement and acknowledgement

-  Winking

·         Conspiring - 'You and I both understand, though others do not'

·         Suggestive or flirtatious greeting

- Prolonged blinking

·         Losing interest

·         Feeling very sleepy

·         Showing romantic interest

·         Thinking more or are feeling stressed

·         Lying

- Rolling the eyes upwards

·         Disagreement

·         Thinking

·         Recalling

·         Bored

·         Thinking about response/Brain processing

- Looking down

·         Feeling guilt

·         Attending to emotions

·         Sign of submission

Think about the message that you are trying to send through your eye contact and
the signal that people are sending to you.  Practice improving your eye contact
with the people that you encounter.  Your eyes can be used as a non-verbal way to
attend to emotions and deepen relationships with people that you are close to. 
Avoid the traps that may send negative signals and cause others to misinterpret
the message that you are trying to send.

Thanks to Pete Vorenkamp, Founding Partner of GAP Marketing, for his

contribution to this post.

Take notice of your POSTURE

How often do you take notice of your posture?  Do you observe how others position themselves?  

There are multiple definitions of the word posture which address the position and condition of the body, mind and attitude. 

“the position or bearing of the body”¹“state or condition at a given time especially with respect to capability in particular circumstances”¹
“a conscious mental or outward behavioral attitude”¹

I can remember being told as a child to “stand up straight” and that “bad posture can affect your back”.  My teacher often encouraged students to sit up straight.  I became accustomed to adjusting my body position and my mindset even when I was not particularly interested in the topic.  I learned that good posture helped me to stay focused and attentive.  Body language can also send signals to others about how interested you are.  People draw perceptions about you based upon your posture and attitude.  Teachers seemed to favor the students who maintained good posture and were paying attention.  Students that frequently slouched at their desks and did not seem to be paying attention did not get good grades and were often dismissed or overlooked by teachers.  There was a strong connection between posture, perception and performance. 

Let’s now consider the non-physical definitions of posture.  What does your mental posture and attitude say about you?  Does your posture match the signal that you are trying to give to others about who you are?  Posture is about the condition of the mind and attitude regardless of your circumstances and environment. 

I often tell my children:

“It is not about your environment.  You take yourself with you everywhere you go.
  Control your own attitude and posture regardless of your circumstances.  You have little
  control over your environment once you are in it. ”

Have you ever walked into a room, looked around and made assumptions about people based on their posture, speech and attitude?  When walking into a meeting, can you pick out who is in charge before they are introduced?  I remember being at an event once and noticing a well dressed woman working the room.  She was shaking hands, introducing herself and giving out her card to many of the executives that were at the event.  I assumed that she was a guest panelist or some important dignitary.  I later discovered that she was unemployed.  She was not just “networking”, she carried herself like someone that was really important.  In her mind, body and spirit, she was the president of her own company!  Clearly, she assumed a posture that commanded respect and attention based on where she perceived herself to be.  I learned from that experience. 

Posture and attitude can send out strong signals about you.  If you see yourself as a leader, act like one before you have the title or position.  Create a vision in your mind and assume the role and the posture.

• If you want to be promoted to an executive position at work, start acting
  like you’re an executive today.  Assume the position in your head.  Step
  into the role.  Dress the part, talk the part and act the part.  Model the
  behavior and allow your energy and attitude to to start shaping your destiny.

• If you want to be in a happy relationship with your spouse or partner,
  assume the position today in your mind and in your attitude.

• If you aspire to have wealth or to change your financial picture,
  assume the position today.  See yourself as someone with wealth
  and provision even if your finances are low today.  Don’t act like
  you are broke or speak poverty over your life.  Speak and act like you
  already have provision.  I DO NOT mean to imply that you should
  spend money that you do not have.J  I simply mean that you should
  carry yourself like someone who has achieved wealth and that has
  favor over their life instead of constantly acting broke.

Make the connection between posture, perception and performance.  Assume the
attitude and behavior of the position that you aspire to be in.  Act like you are already
where you want to be in life.  In your mind, add the the title to your name before you
have it.  Become "Dr. Smith" in your mind today and believe that the credentials
will follow.  Believe it and you will receive it!

¹ http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/posture

Create your Vision...

Have you ever dreamed about what you want your life to be like? What's in your thoughts and dreams will influence where you will focus your energy. 

What are your dreams?

- A new home

- Traveling to another country 

- Getting married

- Success in your business

- Going back to school 

A Vision Board is a visual representation of your desires and aspirations. It is a tool that can help you to focus your energy on making your dreams a reality.  Some excellent examples of vision boards are at:

http://www.visionboardvault.com/

Your vision board should represent your priorities and goals.  Let it inspire and energize you to achieve your dreams.  Here are a few tips:

• Make it a clear picture of your personal goals (not someone else's ideas)
• Let your intuition inspire you.  You may see something in a magazine that
  is a reminder of a place that you'd like to go.  Include it!
• Make it exciting, motivational and inspirational
• Make it fun, colorful and vibrant
• Keep it updated and relevant

Keep your vision board in a place where you can see it every day.  It should be a constant visual reminder and a source of energy.  Observe and reflect on the changes that happen in your life that are captured in your vision. 

"If you can see it, you can be it." 

Good luck!

You will receive what you believe

Your life will follow your thoughts.  Your mind is where you live.  Take an inventory of your thoughts.  Don’t let negativity take root in your brain.  Instead, fill your mind with hope, belief and possibilities.  You will receive what you believe.  Take inventory and pay attention to the thoughts that consume you and play out in your head.  There should be no room for doubt, fear, discouragement, lack, problems or self-pity.  Learn not to get caught up or dwell on the negative.  Do not be consumed by bad news.  In life, we are all faced with disappointing news and challenging circumstances.  I recently told a close friend who received some very disappointing news that she should shut down her computer and stop researching the negative report.  It's natural to want to confirm and research information that you receive from physicians and other professionals that you trust.  When you hear a negative report, why dwell on it and cause anxiety and fear?  For people who have an analytical nature, resisting the desire to understand all of the details behind bad news can be challenging.  Visualize and meditate on a positive outcome rather than dwelling on the certainty of defeat and loss.  When you hear bad news, whose report do you believe?  Believe in possibilities and stay focused on God's promise of hope.  Anything is possible if you believe.  

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."  Philippians 4:13 (KJV)

Controlling Your Emotions

Why is it that it is so difficult sometimes to control your reactions and behaviors at home?  I often reflect on why I have such a challenging time sometimes managing my reactions when dealing with my family.  Why is it that they can push my buttons when no one else can?  For those of you that have children or a spouse, perhaps you can relate to this thought.  These are the people in your life that you have an emotional bond with.  They know you best and you have unspoken "permission" to reveal your authentic self.  This includes revealing your emotions and moods. 

I recently came across a video by Joyce Myer where she shares her light-hearted yet serious perspective on why it's important to control your emotions and moods:

http://www.joycemeyer.org/BroadcastHome.aspx?video=Moods_-_Pt_1

Could it be that the real test of our righteousness starts at home?  I believe that there is a divine purpose behind family dynamics.  Through these relationships, you develop character.  As I reflect on this, I am reminded of the nine attributes referred to as the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

     love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control

My personal synopsis of the nine attributes is "NO DRAMA".  In your close circles and relationships, you will be tested in these areas because you are supposed to be.  Every relationship has a purpose.  Do you think that it's an accident that you have a personality conflict with someone in your own household, at work or at school?  These situations and relationship dynamics contribute to your growth and they are ripe with learning experiences.  My husband and I have six children that we deal with on a daily basis.  Large families are a breeding ground for situations that can challenge your self-control if you allow them to.  My most valuable life lessons have come from reflecting on my own emotions, moods, reactions and behaviors when dealing with my family and inner circle.  My girls are very candid in sharing their observations about me. 

     "Mom, why are you angry?"
     "What's wrong with you today"

These are usually my signals to check myself and self-reflect about my attitude.  Is my authentic self a reflection of how the world sees me?  Am I maintaining the "fruit of the spirit" when challenges happen in my personal life and relationships?  You cannot control others.  However, you can control yourself.   I have learned not to focus on what needs to change in my environment without looking in the mirror.  Reflect on your own actions and reactions and allow experiences, disappointment and conflict to be a fertile ground for your growth and learning.

Power Words

Let your words uplift and speak life, power and affirmation.   These are my power words. What does your list look like?  Be careful what you speak....

Love...Purpose...Acceptance...Life...Affirm...Inspire...Humility...Courage...
Foregiveness...Empower...Awareness...Bountiful...Action...Favor...Light...
Energy...Calm...Centered...Confident...Adore...Admire...Passion...Stability...
Peace...Creativity...Curiosity...Favor...Blessed...Happy...Positive...Faith...
Rich...Vibrant...Discerning...Intuitive...Initiative...Purity...Success...Uplift...
Appreciation...Synergy...Strength...Radiance...Brilliance...Sanctity...Clarity...
Wholeness...Stability...Transform...Change...Serenity...Patience...Beauty...
Joy...Liberate...Deliberate...Focus