How important is eye contact?

  

What are the possible messages that people send with their eyes?
How can your eye expressions be interpreted?

Eyes are sometimes referred to as “a window to the soul”.  Your eyes can be used to
make initial contact with someone, send a message or signal to them or to build
rapport.   The brain is wired to read the face when communicating.  Eye contact
plays a key role in how you interpret messages sent by others.  The way a person
looks at you provides a signal about what they are feeling.  Although the eyes
don’t tell all, they are very revealing.  Observing eye messages will allow you to
adjust how you interact to people and observe the subtle or direct signals that
they are sending to you.

 - Extended gaze or stare

·         Serious and intense

·         Aggressive or deceptive

·         Can be invasive or threatening

·         Shock or disbelief  after hearing unexpected news

·         Can show affection

- Intermittent, repeated glance from a distance

·         Flirtation or lust

·         Checking someone out or showing interest

- Glancing sideways

·         Distracted

·         Checking out source of a distraction

- Squinting

·         Evaluation

·         Considering whether something is not true 

·         Uncertainty

·         Covering up deception

·         Tiredness

 -Lateral movement - Eyes moving from side-to-side 

·         Shiftiness and lying

- Gazing up and down

·         Sizing someone up

·         Checking out a potential threat or love interest

·         Can be insulting

·         Indication of a position of dominance

- Avoiding eye contact

·         Lying or feeling guilty

·         Uncomfortable with the topic being discussed

·         Not interested

·         Feeling insecure

·         Insulted or threatened

·         Not focused or paying attention

- Gazing regularly without staring

·         Positive, inviting attitude 

·         Open to communicate with you

·         Showing engagement and acknowledgement

-  Winking

·         Conspiring - 'You and I both understand, though others do not'

·         Suggestive or flirtatious greeting

- Prolonged blinking

·         Losing interest

·         Feeling very sleepy

·         Showing romantic interest

·         Thinking more or are feeling stressed

·         Lying

- Rolling the eyes upwards

·         Disagreement

·         Thinking

·         Recalling

·         Bored

·         Thinking about response/Brain processing

- Looking down

·         Feeling guilt

·         Attending to emotions

·         Sign of submission

Think about the message that you are trying to send through your eye contact and
the signal that people are sending to you.  Practice improving your eye contact
with the people that you encounter.  Your eyes can be used as a non-verbal way to
attend to emotions and deepen relationships with people that you are close to. 
Avoid the traps that may send negative signals and cause others to misinterpret
the message that you are trying to send.

Thanks to Pete Vorenkamp, Founding Partner of GAP Marketing, for his

contribution to this post.